In what can be seen either as a tribute to Katie Couric or a challenge for superiority, people voting worldwide have chosen Barbie’s latest career: news anchor.
Yes. In addition to being a fairy, princess, and fairy princess, Barbie can now be found in the make-believe world of unbiased network reporting.
With a proclaimed “flair for journalism – and power pink!” Barbie seems cut out more for interviewing “The Situation” than being on The Situation Room, but maybe I should reserve judgment until we see Wolf Blitzer in a knee-high skirt. However, Barbie does possess one quality any real news anchor would die for: perfect, immovable hair.
Personally, I don’t feel offended that Barbie is now a journalist–I’m more concerned about her disturbingly well-kempt and smiling portrayal as a computer engineer. I still have to worry about the mental stability of any child who chooses to play “Nightly News,” though:
“Good evening; I’m Barbie. Diane Sawyer is off tonight.
“Later in tonight’s program I continue my interview with Raggedy Ann and her brave battle against osteoporosis, but first disturbing developments in the hunt for an alleged serial murderer.
“Another body was discovered in the P&G Foods parking lot this afternoon, head melted beyond recognition similar to four other models found this past week. Butt-lettering records identify the latest victim as Polly Pocket of Suzy’s House. FBI Agent Fox Mulder is asking all dolls to remain in their toy chests while the investigation into what is becoming known as ‘The Magnifying Glass Killer’ continues.
“Now to the ongoing stalemate in Congress as Democratic leader Edward ‘Teddy’ Ruxpin today accused Republican senator Stretch Armstrong of refusing to reach across the aisle on the health care bill. Armstrong later shot back that Ruxpin continues to spout the same tired party lines recorded on the cassette tape in his back.
“After the break, correspondent Skipper goes undercover into the seedy underworld of the Bratz gang and I turn into a mermaid.”