It’s been, overall, a lackluster past 4 years  in my life. I’ve worked for a newspaper that has gradually demanded more of its workers for less and less reward, and I’ve seen my last remaining “real-life” friends leave the area for higher pursuits: careers, marriage. Good stuff.

I’ve tried to escape from this area myself, but it simply hasn’t worked out. All but two of the job applications I’ve sent out in all this time have ever received a response. One was quite exciting, actually. I was flown down to Washington, D.C. on the government’s time and actually paid a stipend to be interviewed down there. We were told everyone would receive word in the mail within a couple months if we had been chosen or not. It’s now 11 months and I never heard a thing. The other response I got was a plain and polite rejection and the only other time I was treated by a company with something other than silence.

So let’s just say it’s been four years and my general goals of being less alone and having a satisfying purpose haven’t panned out that well. And I’m thinking of taking a big step, going abroad, and trying to teach English to students in Asia somewhere. I’ve always wanted to visit Japan, and this could be a way to do so while actually making savings and not going insane. Potentially.

The truth is, I don’t know. Maybe if I was someone who’s had more experiences it wouldn’t be such a strange prospect. But I’m someone who’s had every attempt to move on with his life fall apart since graduating college. I’m honestly afraid if I try this, it’s just going to fall apart again, only this time I’ll be truly alone on the other side of the world when it goes down.

Have you ever faced a choice like this? Have you ever felt backed into a corner for a long time? What do you think is the best thing to do in such a situation?