It’s hard to believe I’ve been at this blog for more than two months now. I love this spunky little guy and I’m proud of what he’s been growing into. He’s been getting good feedback, he’s kept pretty regular and I’m finally getting to the point where I don’t feel the temptation to check his pageview stats three times a day.

Actually, the stat I’ve come to love more is the search terms used by people who’ve stumbled across the site. Not a week goes by that I don’t find one or two that are downright funny or just leave me wondering what this person was really looking for. I’d like to share some choice selections and stats with you. Perhaps you may even recognize some of them, you weirdos:

Apart from “Latshaw Loses It,” the term that brings the most people here is “red panda” or some derivative. It’s pretty surprising since I’ve only written one piece on the critters, but at the same time I’m glad there’s a cult following for them. Even so, perhaps there’s a bit too dedicated of a following, as one person searched “do red pandas have problems.” Are You There, God? It’s Me, Red Panda.

The second-most hit search term, by the way, is “mindless jobs.”

Moving on, I hereby officially apologize to the people with the following search terms, as they were undoubtedly disappointed:

  • “pirate romance stories”
  • “virgin first time stories”
  • “romance stories:virgin in love”

Believe it or not, but my Mario hat piece brought in several searchers, although more often than not the terms included hatmodel Kirby, who apparently has had it in for the plumber for some time:

  • “kirby mario hat”
  • “kirby killing mario”
  • “kirby eating mario”

Finally, the sabotage of the Hadron Collider by a bird piqued the interest of several searchers, some of whom may belong to the unofficial cult of time-traveling demon fighters at which I poked fun:

  • “cern people future bird”
  • “hadron collider time gate”
  • “sweeden collider bird” (good band name?)
  • “hadron gate to hell” (better band name?)

So if you do happen to be from a dystopic future, ha ha, I was only joking! Please don’t leave me here when Cthulu bursts into our dimension…