Norway? Way!

A story released by BBC News today cites Norway as the best place to live according to the United Nations, the committee who filed the report subsequently filing for time off to “take completely coincidentally close-  and very much priorly-booked retreats on Norwegian Cruise Lines.”

Seriously, Norway was placed on top based on an examination of criteria including life expectancy, literacy, school enrollment, economic health and IPC (Ikeas per capita).

OK, so that last measure wasn’t serious, either. I really need to shed this journalistic integrity.

Australia–snakes, dingos and all–was second on the list, followed by Iceland. The U.S.  ranks 13th on the list, to which Vice President Joe Biden retorted, “If Norway’s so fantastic, why’d all the vikings  move to Minnesota??”

The Swedish Bikini Team was unavailable for comment. We shall continue attempting to reach them for comment on every other story. Ever.