Alexandria, EGYPT–Adorn yourself with catnip and prepare your offerings of Meow Mix now, becuase archaeologists have recently uncovered a temple dedicated to the Ancient Egyptian feline goddess Bastet, proving once and for all that the Sahara was never anything more than a giant litter box.

Worshipped as a goddess of the sun and then a goddess of the moon, Bastet is also known for being the only deity you never had to bow down to, as she was often fond of nuzzling up against your ankles and almost making you trip.

When not reigning over Ancient Egypt, Bastet would guest star on mid-afternoon Disney cartoon series.

The goddess originally had the head of a lion but Egyptians later downgraded her to a domestic cat, probably after C. S. Lewis swiped the whole “lion” religious schtick right out from under their stubby little missing Sphinx noses. Respect for her unfortunately dropped after this change as she went from being a fierce, feared, war-honored figure to someone you could slip by as soon as a sunbeam garnered her attention.

Plans for the newly unearthed temple are yet unknown, but some are calling for a reopening of sacred facility for modern-day worship and a potential venue for the Pussycat Dolls.

Anyone approaching the temple with cheeseburgers has been ordered executed on the spot.

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